Character 9 A Visually Challenged Person

Character 9

A Visually Challenged Person

________________

It has been thirty four years – from 1979 till today – that I have not seen this world. Since last thirty four years I have been imagining the world as per the images stored in my mind that I had gathered till the age of ten. Thirty years ago I lost my eyesight.

I lost my eyes to a very freak accident at my native place. After my 2^nd semester exams of 5^th grade, we packed our bags and headed towards our native place to enjoy the summer holidays. From the station to my uncle’s home, the distance is 3 kms. There were no rickshaws at that time. The only means of transport were bullock-cart and horse-cart. My uncle had 2 bullocks and 3 buffaloes at his home. So anyway, I could enjoy sitting on bullocks or buffaloes as long as I wanted. So I cried a lot and convinced my dad that we would travel by horse-cart. Only if I had the blueprint of my life in my hand, I wouldn’t have sat on the front seat of the horse-cart. My parents and my younger sister sat in the last 3 seats. I sat beside the horse-cart driver. I was enjoying every bit of that ride. I was happily provoking the horse by kicking on its back. I know I was being sadistic. But then at that age you don’t think that much. We must have covered around half the distance when the horse stood still. The driver hit the horse with his whip. The horse wouldn’t budge. I leaned forward to see if I could do anything. Just then, the driver hit the horse with whip. It rebounded and hit my left eye. Blood started oozing out of my left eye. I screamed with pain. The horse-cart stopped. My parents came running to the driver’s seat. My mother took the end of her Saari, dabbed it on my left eye and started praying to God thinking that it might lessen my pain. But, unfortunately, nothing helped to ease the pain. I couldn’t stop crying. My tears mixed with the blood oozing out of my left eye. I was taken to the village-doctor. He tried his best with all the bare minimum facilities he had. In the evening, I was rushed to an eye-hospital in the nearby district. But it was too late. My fate had already been written. And the blue-print of my life said that after the age of 10, I will have to just keep imagining the faces, buildings, things, animals around me. Slowly, my right eye also got infected. And I was totally visually-challenged.

For the first 3 years, it was very difficult for me to imagine that I have to wake up every morning and not see my face while brushing teeth. As a kid, I was never dependent on anyone for anything. But now, I was forced to let others comb my hair, dress me up, feed me, read newspapers for me, leave me to the school-bus stop, take me from the school-bus stop in the evening, help me with my studies, help me in my meals, and finally read out stories to me that would motivate me to face the world in a better way.

I will never forget the day when my mother took me to my school after I completely lost my vision. My principal looked at me. Needless to say he was shocked. My mother told me to wait outside. I had thought that when my principal would see me in such a state, he would take me in his arms and cry. I mean, I had a lot of respect and love for him. And being very good in academics, I had definitely not expected what was about to follow. A heated quarrel ensued between my mother and him. I could hear him saying “he is not equal anymore… he is different  ...try to understand... we cannot accommodate him”. My mother shouted “he was, he is and he will be equal to others... in fact I promise you Mr. Desai, my son will grow up to become a very famous person. Certainly more famous than your NORMAL kids….” She stormed out of the principal’s cabin. That was the last day I had been to that school.

That night, my mother cried a lot. It was a shock that she couldn’t digest easily.

My mother gathered all the information about schools for visually-challenged kids. The day I joined one of those schools, my mother told me, “Beta, never ever think that you are less important or less powerful than anyone else in this world. If God has taken one sense from you, he will make sure that that loss be compensated by some other gift. You will have to explore yourself and find out what that GIFT is. If God had intended everyone to be same, he would have made everyone visually-challenged. Never ever think low of yourself. Try your best and be a Dhruv Taaraa amongst all the stars in the sky. Achieve such heights that others consider you as their aim.” Till today, I haven’t forgotten those words. And I never will. In fact, I have those words framed in my office.

The first day at school -was rather difficult to get used to because of a few reasons. Firstly, I was missing my dear friends - Saptarishi, Sagar, Shantanu, Aditya, Aditi, Charuta, and others. I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to share my tiffin with them. I wanted to play pranks on our teachers- D’Costa miss and Manjrekar sir. Secondly, I wanted to play cricket and football with my friends. But now, with no eyesight and total strangers around, I was very scared of what lay ahead of me. The principal introduced me to our class teacher, Banerjee Miss. And then Banerjee Miss introduced me to the whole class. She said loudly “Dear students, today we have a very sweet boy named Rajesh here. He is going to be your classmate from today. So, I am sure that you all will give him equal love and affection as you give to each other. Right kids?” In response to Banerjee Miss’s question, there was a resounding “Yes teacher. We will.” I could feel the positive vibes of all my new classmates. My heart knew that I had reached the right place.

There were 2 persons who were employed to help our class of 30 students. Those 2 persons used to guide us about the way to our respective benches, the way to the toilet, the way to the staircase…in short everything we needed to KNOW about the place where we had to spend our academic years. Initially it was difficult for me adjust to the surroundings. More than anything, the urge to SEE the things around was killing me. Needless to say, I cried a lot. But crying doesn’t help when God has different plans for you. Every night, before going to bed, I used to pray to God to do some kind of miracle so that when I open my eyes in the morning, I can see my family, my friends, my teachers- D’Costa Miss, and Manjrekar sir, the green trees, the cute and fat sparrows that I used to feed everyday… there were lot many things that I wanted to see. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. So I took a resolve that I would not cry again and try my best be the Dhruv Taaraa amongst all the stars!

I learnt Braille, JAWS, and many other softwares that would help me live my life in a better way. Till today I salute Mr. Braille, who invented this language of dots for people like me. I worked hard and topped the school for visually challenged. Later on, I went on to do graduation and post-graduation from a university in US and finally ended up as the executive director of the innovations department in one of the biggest mobile-manufacturers in the world. My team is looking into the design of a path-breaking phone that would make the life of people with visual and hearing disabilities easier.

There are few things that I really hate. I hate the politicians who make empty promises and deliver nothing. I mean, tell me, what has the government done for people like me? Do we have special jobs available for us? No. While asking for votes, they say that we are very important to the progress of this country. They say that they will create job opportunities for people like me. But do they deliver what they say? No. I am fed up of writing a letter to the Railways saying that the compartment for Special people be made more easily accessible to the people who use it. I mean, there should be more light in that compartment as compared to other compartments. The footboard should be lower than that in other compartments. In elections, if our votes hold equal importance as votes of other ordinary and normal people, then why don’t we get equal importance when it comes to giving basic rights, facilities, job opportunities, etc.? A normal and fit person can anyways work hard on his weaknesses and get a job. But think about us. I am not begging for such basic things. But, think practically. We need a little bit of support from the government; not sympathy of course.

At some level, I hate the big telecom players available in the market. The competition in the Mobile-Service-Provider market has become so tough that they have slashed the calling rates to 50 paisa/minute or 1 paisa/second! With this, what has happened is that the mobile users no more use telephone booths. You remember those red-coloured and black-coloured telephones that we used to have in early and late 90s? You hardly find them anywhere now. This is all because of the big telecom players. The telephone booths with those red and black coloured telephones were usually manned by visually challenged people. In fact those booths were our work-places. Those booths used to be our source of employment. But now, my brethren have lost that source of employment and have had to take up other jobs.

My heart aches the most when I think of my parents and my dear sister. Now, when my parents need me to help them in their daily life, I am not in a state to help them. Instead, I have to take their help many a time. I am sure that when I was a child, they must have had many expectations from me. They must have dreamt of so many situations where I hold their hands and lead them in their life. Last week, one of my cousins got married to a doctor. After attending his wedding, my parents started discussing about my marriage. I don’t understand how to explain them about my decision to be alone all my life. I gathered courage and told my parents that I don’t want to waste the life of my would-be life partner and that I don’t want to be a reason for someone else’s unhappiness.

 I am sure that I must have done some good deeds in my previous life; that is the reason why God gave me such a sweet sister. The kind of motivation that I have got from her is just beyond words. It can never ever be compensated with any kind of gift or any deed. The last time we both cried together was when she got rejected by a would-be-groom because he learnt that I am visually-challenged. The worst thing was that there was nothing I could do improve the situation. I could do nothing but cry. I felt so guilty that I didn’t talk to anyone for a month or so.

I really feel bad when people go to school for visually challenged people and express sympathy towards the people who study there. I mean, as a normal human being, you might be tempted to express sympathy towards us for our loss of one sense. But, in those schools, we are taught to be independent and not feel torn because of loss of eyesight. We are taught to have a high self respect and not to be emotionally dependent on anyone. But then, when you cry with us, we too can’t resist crying at the cruelty of God. I mean, no one wishes to lose the gift of sight. Because of some freak accident or someone else’s fault you have to bear the pain, the grudge for the whole of your life! That’s why I request every visitor to follow the “Don’t cry” rule strictly.

By the way, I am one of the trustees of one of the schools for visually challenged kids in Mumbai. I would like to quote what Will Smith had said in the movie Pursuit of Happiness – “Don’t ever let anybody tell you that you can’t do something. People themselves can’t do something, so they want to tell you that you can’t do something. If you want something, go get it. Period.”