Chapter 51
Sneha’s Diary
26th December 2011
Aryan has
started trying to impress me now. Yes. That’s what I wanted. Being the lady, I couldn’t
have approached him. If I had started the conversation then it would have
seemed like I am crazy for a US guy and hence I am trying to break the ice and
then slowly lure him into my life. But Sneha has what you call CLASS. She makes
guys wait and cry and kill themselves! Hahahah. Too much that is na Georgie!
Anyway, so he
started his message by describing how lucky his bro was to have someone like
Vandana for a wife and how he also wished to get settled with a girl like her.
This is what he said exactly, dear Georgie:
“Hey Sneha. How
are you? Thanks for accepting my request. I hope you remember me from the
wedding. Let me tell you how lucky my bro is to have someone like your sister
as a wife! She has gelled so well in our family that it feels like heaven to
have a bhabhi like her. Our relation is like that bhabhi-devar relation you see
in Barjatya movies! Lol. Sorry if I sound very filmy but while I am writing
this message, the song “Didi tera devar deewana” is ringing in my ear! Anyway,
so how are you? How’s your office going on? Any plans of coming to this side of
the world? If yes, then it would be my luck to show you around beautiful places
in California. I will also take you to Google and Yahoo campuses. Hoping to
hear back from you. Bbye! Take care.”
Exactly the
kind of message one would send to lay good groundwork for a future proposal! So
that I don’t sound rude, I replied to his message and told him that even Vandu
was saying that she is lucky to be a part of their family and that family
values and love and bonding is what matters to any girl. This was a subtle hint
that yes we can see where our story goes. It’s been 3 days and he hasn’t
replied yet. I will wait for a day or two and if he doesn’t have the time and will
to reply to my message, I will close the Aryan topic.
My blog has
been getting a good response nowadays. I have put a very sexy pic of mine on
the profile page! It helps! Haha. People have been commenting and it feels good
to get feedback from people that I don’t know at all. There is some follower
from Ukraine who is an avid lover of my work and she has requested me to read
her blog and give her feedback.
Office life is
going ok. I don’t find much excitement in professional life. Don’t know why. It
has become monotonous doing the same thing every day for months and that
surprise factor or that challenge in work is missing. Tomorrow if HR comes and
asks me, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I would have no freaking
answer at all! I have an appraisal next week. Let’s see how much raise I get.
If I don’t get a good raise then bbye FuturePerfect Technologies!
Rahul’s Diary
27th December 2011
A couple of
days ago I was having tea with my friend Shalini in the basement of our office
building. There was this group of colleagues who were cracking mindless jokes
that pissed me to no end. That group purposely came and stood near us and
cracked the joke: “Question- What is the favourite cereal of homos? Answer:
Gehun… gay-hun” and then the assholes laughed till their eyes filled with tears
of sadistic pleasure.
I felt really
bad for them for not having enough sensitivity towards other human beings.
Aren’t gays human beings? They make gays sound like it is their fault to be born
like that.
The managing
director of our firm is a nice sensible guy. He asked me to make a presentation
on this topic and present it to the office so that we could increase awareness
about gay people. So I surfed the internet and made a 25 slide ppt on LGBTQs
and presented it in the conference room. Every other meeting or deliverable was
put on hold for my presentation.
But kutte ki
poonch kahan seedhi hoti hai! The bastard heterosexuals got more points to
laugh at. They made more sleazy jokes and circulated them around the office
taking pride in the best of jokes they made. I could hear one guy say “Jooth
mat bol sale...Wo awesomewala joke maine abhi socha hai!”
Nowadays I come
home and cry a lot. There is so much anger in me for the stupid behaviour of
these people around me that I have to let out that anger in the form of tears
or else I might kill somebody or at least fatally injure someone or kill
myself. Nowadays I have stopped hanging out with guys altogether. I’m always in
the company of girls. This has given the idiots all the more boost to their
creativity to make more jokes on gays.
It is high time I make a decision about my future.
Saahil’s Diary
26th December 2011
Last week I met
Shraddha. We were supposed to meet at Marine Drive at 6.00 in the evening.
Because of stomach upset I reached a little late. At 6.30. She had reached the
promenade opposite the intercontinental by 5.45. When I reached the place, I
apologised profusely thinking that she would have been very angry at me. But,
surprisingly, she wasn’t mad at all. In fact she thanked me for the delay
because that allowed her to listen to her favourite show on FM radio from 6 to
6.30.
I was stunned
by Shraddha’s kind nature. She would be a perfect daughter-in-law to my parents
and a perfect mother to my kids. The mother that you see in advertisements –
very caring and smiling all the time!
And to top my
astonishment, she had got a Cadbury SILK for me! Her behaviour totally reminded
me of myself in the Saahil-Sneha pair. In the Saahil-Sneha pair, Shraddha was
me and Saahil was Sneha.
After
discussing our school days and college days and professional life, we headed
for dinner at Satkar, opposite to Churchgate station. After a lovely dinner, we
strolled back on the marine drive promenade. And yes, we also had that very
famous wafer-ice-cream at Rustomji dairy. We both love chocolate flavour. Now I
know what flavour condom I need to get for her if we get married. Hahahaha…
sorry for the trash talk, Diaz!
We then left
for home. We both caught the Thane slow local. I got down at Kanjurmarg station
and she got down at Mulund. In short, she seems to be the only girl who can be
closest to being my life partner. I know that she can’t be Sneha. But still.
Something is better than nothing. If Sneha is so adamant in hating me, I have
to look out for other options. No choice.
After these 2-3
meetings, now Shraddha and I have to tell our parents where this relation is
going. In our Indian society unmarried boys and girls cannot just keep fooling
around. 2-3 meetings and a few hours on phone are more than enough to know a
person, they say. I find that a little odd. But I cannot challenge the system.
I will have the
last round of discussions with Shraddha and see if she is ok to spend the rest
of her life with me.
Sneha’s Diary
6th January 2012
What on fucking
earth do these assholes think of when they do appraisals? Huh? I had slogged my
ass off the whole year and then after that they give me a raise of 4%! A
fucking 4%! My boss and the HR said that this raise is companywide and that
since the market outside is anyway bad, this raise of 4% is the max they could
give. I asked them to donate my increment to a charity! Literally I said that
to the HR on her face! Upkaar kiya kya 4% deke?
And to top this
shit, my boss starts recounting the number of times I had been late to office
and the number of tea breaks I took during office hours. That idiot had taken
out a printout of my office timings! 1 hour lunch break and 3 tea-snacks breaks
of half an hour every day I take. So that totals up to 2.5 hours. But but but,
I do work seriously in the remaining 6.5 hours! What is his problem then? These
assholes focus on quantity not quality. That is the main problem. In the heat
of the moment, I resigned. Yup. And to my surprise, my boss accepted my
resignation! I will have to serve a notice period of only 2 weeks!
I am not sure
what lies ahead for me. No freaking idea at all. My parents are cool about my
decision. But now I am a little tense about what to do. Ever since I had
started my professional life, I had also visited a few NGOs, where I taught
poor kids English. Maybe I will take this free time to give something back to
society. And also, looking
out for a life
partner will be much easier as I will have time to meet the guy, know the guy
and analyse compatibility and stuff.
Currently it’s
like I am walking on a foggy road. I have no idea what lies ahead for me. But I
will have to keep walking trusting my instincts.
Rahul’s Diary
7th January 2012
I left my job on 28th
December and now I am at home to spend some time with my parents. I was having
suicidal thoughts and hence Shalini advised me to be with my family.
Now that I have
accepted the reality, my father hates me all the more. My mother has accepted
the reality and is now sweeter than ever before. I now spend more time in my
mother’s lap than hanging out with anyone else. I was missing that mother’s
warmth all these years when I had shifted to Mumbai to run away from the truth.
My brother is cool about me being gay. The incident that happened to him did
shake him a bit but he is more caring towards me. I haven’t told my parents
that I have left my job. I told them that the company has given a week off to
all employees on the eve of new year celebrations and that I will leave for
Mumbai in a couple of days.
These 10 days I
have been thinking about my plan of action for the next phase of my life. The
bring-it-on phase as I like to call it. Bring it on life, bring it on. Let’s
see what you have in store for me.
Now that I am
not a part of traditional society, I have to find ways to find a partner and
live a good life. My mother, influenced by what she hears at her kitty parties,
suggested that I shift to US because that is where this gay culture came from.
So impressionable my sweet mom is! She is the best mom in the whole world.
There are a few
gay groups here in Delhi. But I can’t join them as my parents won’t accept me
leaving my job and living that life. I can only imagine what that Chaddha aunty
will do to my mother when my mom openly tells the whole world that she has
given birth to a gay son.
I might join
some NGO for children or old people or animals or something for a change. I
have always had this wish to give something back to society, but never gotten
time from my professional life. Now it’s high time to explore that option. My
friend Rajeev used to work on weekends at an old age home called Aangan Hamara
in Sion in Mumbai. I will inquire and see in what way I can contribute there.
I had a big
fight with my father a couple of days back. He called me “chakka” and said that
he was unfortunate to have a son like me. I am a curse, he says. It really
hurts when one’s own father says such things. I remember the days when he used
to take me and Nikhil for Ram Leela sessions at Red Fort during Dusherra. We
first used to go to our Tauji’s place and then from there we all used to head
to Mangolpuri to watch the biggest Ram Leela session in Delhi. The delicious
dinner after Ram Leela was worth looking forward to. And those ₹5 Kulfis were a treat for our tongues. Those
were the carefree days! Huh! Why does one have to grow up? I wish I could
rewind time and be a kid forever!
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