Dear Diaz,
Shahrukh Khan’s dialogue is so so so true! Last Saturday, at the old age home,
I met Sneha! Yes! Sneha! She is the girl who is working at the old age home on
weekdays. But since Rahul was out for some work, she filled in for him on
Saturday.
It was so very
filmy when I met her. I reached at around 11.45. It was lunch time then. I was
standing there by the door of the lunch room and saw a beautiful girl in a
green coloured dress, trying to keep her hair in place and smiling at the old
people and urging them to have some more food. She reminded me of the actress
Asin from the movie Ghajini. I was in my dream world where I could imagine her
requesting guests at our home to have extra Ghee on Khichdi and then serving
them sweet dish with love and all. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you that
there were some grannies who were literally placing their hands on her head
giving her blessings when she served them food. It was a really filmy scene.
100% Asin she was looking like. By god!
After she was
done serving the food and all, I went to talk to one grandpa. I went stealthily
so as to avoid being seen and then I tapped on her shoulder. She looked back
and almost shrieked. This caught the attention of everyone in the lunch room. I
was so embarrassed because I kept smiling happily at her and there she was in a
state of disbelief with no smile on her face. I kept smiling for a few more
seconds to
change her
mood, but she didn’t reciprocate. Then to avoid further embarrassment, I
introduced myself to her and reminded her that we had worked together before.
She looked around and agreed.
We then had
lunch and then she wanted to work on some blueprint of a sports fest that Rahul
had planned. So I tried to help her as much as I could. I tried to steer our
conversation towards love. But she kept avoiding me. I asked her if she read my
story “The Park Bench”. She just said yes. No “good one” or “loved it”, etc.
Just fucking
bland one or two word replies. But I am not going to give up so easily. If
there was no future to our relation, why did God make us meet here? There is
always a reason to why everything happens. Right Diaz?
While Sneha was
on a phone call for an hour or so, I went and talked to the grannies and
grandpas. They love me a lot. I remind them of their son or grandson or an
obedient kid of a neighbour. Whatever makes them happy. There is this one South
Indian granny, fondly called Kavitha Amma; she is very fond of me. I went on a
stroll with her for some 15-20 minutes and as usual I cracked so many jokes in
those 15-20 minutes that she was laughing like hell and called me ‘the funniest
and cutest guy ever’! I wish Sneha had said this! Kavitha Amma told me the girl
who marries me will be a very lucky girl. Jokingly I told Amma to say those
words to Sneha! J
There was a confused look on her face. I had expected her to smile.
I will never
ever ever go to that old age home on a weekend again! Because that is when that
infatuated fatso comes for his social service. Yes Georgie, Saahil was there at
the old age home this weekend. I wonder from where he came to know that I now
spend time there!
So, this is
what happened on the unfortunate Saturday, the black Saturday as I call it! I
was filling in for Rahul. It turns out that Saahil contributes to Aangan Hamara
on weekends. I had no clue about that! At least Rahul should have told me na! Idiot!
He must be playing cupid trying to help Saahil find his love! Class lungi uski
to!
The whole day
Saahil kept following me around the campus. Oh god! I was so frustrated that at
one point I was literally going to shout at him, but there was this grandpa
waiting for his relatives to meet him. I didn’t want to create a negative
atmosphere for him. I asked a friend to call me and then I was on the phone for
around an hour. Saahil was talking to Kavitha Amma during that time and then after
coming back, I left for home in a few minutes. Saahil said that he would
accompany me till Sion station. But I refused.
Uff! What a bad day it was! Ganesha, nako re asa kar
maajhyaa sobat!
And my mom read
the book that Saahil had sent. She read the message and the love letter too.
She loved the story that Saahil had written. She
was asking me
if I love him! Yucks! I would rather kill myself that love and marry that
loser!
Anyway Georgie,
gotta rest now. Viral fever is not letting me get out of bed.
Will keep you posted!
Rahul’s Diary
Day by day the
situation is getting worse for me. The Hindu fundamentalists have teamed up
with the Muslim ones and are now manning my favourite chai-tapri outside Aangan
Hamara. They have figured out where I go for a smoke in the afternoon and where
I go with Saahil for snacks and with Sneha for coffee.
Seeing so many
hooligans together, the macho man within me is weakening day by day. It’s like
I have given up mentally and now they can control me however they want to. What
if they ever implement their threat and harm me physically? They attacked
Vrajesh’s car yesterday with stones and broke the window glass with hockey sticks.
It was Vrajesh’s good luck that he started honking continuously and that’s why
the bastards ran away. And also luckily there was no one in the car with him.
They have emotionally tormented his family members and mine too. My family has
been provided with a policeman who mans our building at all times. My mother
wants me to come back to Delhi. But father as usual, is firm that he doesn’t
want to be associated with a gay son like me. I don’t find any difference
between those fundamentalists and my dad. In fact I am more afraid that my dad
might hit my mom and my brother in a fit of rage.
I am trying not to think much about all
this stuff as whatever has to happen will happen. The only thing I can do is enjoy
my current life. But it is difficult somehow.
Talking about
enjoyment, Saahil now knows that Sneha works here. So he must be quite pepped
up to come to the old age home more! Hahaha. But Sneha isn’t aware that my eyes
are on Saahil. I have started developing feelings for Saahil. I know that he
might totally reject my advances, but still I do want to tell him the truth
that I am gay and that I like his company and that I feel happy with his
positive aura and hands-over-face-laughing! As I said earlier, if he were gay,
then no force on this planet can stop him from being mine. This Saturday I will
take him for a movie in a nearby theatre.
I’ve much
confidence in Sneha’s ability, and have entrusted the full responsibility of
the sports fest on her and have told her to make teams and decide the games and
stuff. She was down with fever for a couple of days. She joined back yesterday
only. I asked her if she would come here on Saturday. She looked at me with
that I-will-kill-you-Rahul look! Hahaha. She hates the charming Saahil so much!
Good! One man’s poison is another man’s cure! Saahil is my cure! J
I joined the
old age home after recovering from the viral fever. Rahul was out for some work
till 2.00 and hence I spent the whole day with the grannies and grandpas. My
most favourite amongst all is Kavitha Amma. If ever I get a chance to adopt
her, then I would be extremely happy to do so. I so damn hope to marry a guy
who would be good at heart and who is okay with me bringing Kavitha Amma home
along with me J
Amma shared
with me the story of her life – How she used to be a small cute dancer at
weddings where her dad used to play drums, how she used to play with her
favourite dog, Moti, how she got married to a cousin of hers at a very young
age and then when she needed the support of her own children at her ripe age,
those bastards disowned her and that is how she landed at Aangan Hamara. Tears
filled my eyes. I promised her that if ever I get married, my first condition
will be that the guy should accept Kavitha Amma as a family member too. I know
it would be difficult, but to hell with a guy who doesn’t accept my demands.
The best thing would be if Rahul agrees to marry me then we can adopt Kavitha
Amma and then we all 3 can stay happy for eternity. Rahul also loves Amma and
Amma is loved by everyone at the old age home. And anyway, everyone here feels that
Rahul and I are soul mates! And precisely that is why I have written a love
letter for
Rahul. I have
given it to Amma to give it to him. Keeping fingers crossed! J
My father also
read Saahil’s story and is now seriously asking me whether I am in love with
him and want to get married to him! Uffo ye parents bhi na! I requested my
parents to ignore the cheap fatso. Father was asking if he should deal with him
his way. But I said no need to be so strict, just ignore.
Rahul’s Diary
Dear Diary, the
streak of bad news continues. Vrajesh met with an accident on 8th April. He was
travelling in his car on the eastern express highway when a truck hit his car
from behind. His car turned turtle twice before hitting a tree near the edge of
the road. Luckily he survived. I immediately went to meet him at the hospital.
He is lucky to have nice parents who stand by him at all times. His parents
were ultra cool when he came out of the closet. I wish mine were as cool.
On Saturday,
Saahil came to the old age home at around 1.00. He is involved with some
finance related work. His accounting knowledge is being put to use at the
ashram. He finished his work by 3.30 and then we sat with Kavitha Amma to
listen to the amazing stories from her past. Amma has faced lots of troubles in
life, but came out a strong woman every time. Amma’s father was a drummer who
used to play at weddings and Kavitha Amma used to accompany him and dance and
collect the money that the clients used to throw in the midst of the joyous
moments. She shared many more incidents. Poori book ban jayegi uspe!
Then I took
Saahil to a nearby theatre to watch an Akshay Kumar movie. But it was houseful
and hence we decided to have cutting and sutta at my regular chai-tapri. Sheikh
Chacha at the tapri handed me a note that those narrow minded shitheads had
asked him to give me. It
read, “Your
homo friend is lucky to have survived. You won’t be that lucky. Save your ass
you American chakke!”
Seeing my face
turn pale, Saahil wanted to read the note, but I didn’t let him. Immediately I
arranged a taxi for him and came back to the campus. While seeing him off, I
kind of kissed Saahil on his right cheek. I didn’t intend that to happen. But I
guess my inner emotions overpowered my macho sense of just hugging like bros!
We both were embarrassed. My fault.
And, Kavita Amma gave me this love letter written by Sneha:
Dear Rahul,
It’s been a
long time since we have known each other. We met for the first time at Abhishek
sir’s author talk on 5th June 2011. I still remember the date as it was a special date for me
because I saw you for the first time there. I still can’t forget the way you
broke the ice and asked me my name in a very filmy manner. Very George Clooney
types! George Clooney is my most favourite actor and that’s why I have named my
diary Georgie! Ooops! I never wanted to share this with anyone, but you are the
kind of person with whom I want to share such stupid little things. I like
sharing such things with you Rahul. That first meet was kind of ruined by the
presence of Saahil, the biggest idiot I have ever met. I so damn wanted you to
keep continuing our conversation but the gentleman that you are, you chose to
pay the bill, collect your diary and leave. Any Tom, Dick and Harry would have
found more excuses to talk to me. But you belong to a different class
altogether. You are one dashing hunk that every girl wants to sleep with! At
least I do! Hahaha! I feel so slutty right now to have said that! I had always
thought that the guy I would want to sleep with would be the one with whom I would
spend the rest of my life with. So there I said it Rahul! I want to spend the
rest of my life with you.
I don’t care
about your past at all. I know you were involved with Jenifer for some time.
But I am ok with that as I know that the human body has sexual needs and
Jenifer could provide that to you and hence you had sex with her. I am ok with
anything you say. It’s not only your looks that I am in love with, it is your
whole personality, your nature, your eyes, your behaviour! I love everything about
you! You are no less handsome than Matthew Staton from “White Collar” thriller
drama. But in real life he is GAY! I just hope you aren’t! hahaha…
I am even ready
to go against my family if they don’t approve of our relation. So what if you
are a north Indian and I am a maharashtrian! I am not a kid anymore, Rahul.
And I have a
long term plan ready. Since you and I already love Kavitha Amma so much, we can
adopt her from the old age home if we ever plan to move out of Mumbai. Then we
3 and our cute handsome beautiful kids will live happily ever after. I have
already thought of the names of our kids. Our son will be named Rehaan and
daughter will be named Aditi. Cute na? J We will have a nice flower bed in our balcony
and our kids will play with Kavita Amma all the time.
Anyway, love you till eternity.
Yours truly,
High time I
reveal the truth to Sneha and Saahil. I need to tell Sneha that her dreams will
never come true and I need to tell Saahil that I kind of love him and if he is
gay, then we could find out some way to face society and take things further.
The only thing that I am afraid of
is these narrow
minded fundamentalists harming my loved ones, including Sneha and Saahil.
Tomorrow I will
hand over the handy cam to Sneha and let her watch the video that I shot at the
Gay Pride Parade. She will understand the truth herself. I will also write a
letter to her that I can give her while she leaves. I am sure that she will be
shocked and would want to leave the old age home as soon as she can to avoid
being hurt and embarrassed.
I will also
disclose my feelings to Saahil. Anyway he might have gotten an inkling that I
am not straight. Chances are good that he might at least hear me out and then
decide. After all there has to be a difference between educated and uneducated
people, right?
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