Technically, we had
done half the thesis. You don’t need to be told because you are halfway through
it yourself. So, after completing half the thesis successfully and playfully,
Vidya suggested that we all go and watch a play. Vidya’s cousin Meena was
playing the lead role; there was no way we could not have gone! The play was
based on how wretched the life of Indian housewives on earth is! There were
wicked elder sisters-in-law and a mother-in-law who wanted to kill the hapless
and innocent daughter-in-law. Towards the end of the play, a goddess appeared
and saved the life of the daughter-in-law and punished the culprits!
As we were about to
leave, I saw Aditya wiping his tears. He said he was reminded of his
engineering days and could easily relate his life during the four years of
college with the hapless daughter-in-law at various points in her life.
“If you can relate to
the topic well enough to cry about it, why don’t you write a chapter on it?”
suggested Chitragupta. He was indeed right. So, Aditya took the onus of writing
this chapter on his tears and began with full energy.
------------------------------------------
It wouldn’t be surprising
if half of the glycerin production in the world is used by the Indian
television industry; and almost half of all that by the timid, dutiful young
brides who are tortured by their mothers-in-law and elder sisters-in-law! I
have always been very compassionate towards such daughters-in-law. Like an
average middle class household in India, our house also had just one television
set. So by default, I had to watch the programmes that my parents wanted to
watch. My mom brainwashed my dad into watching serials of the likes of Kusum, Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, Kasauti
Zindagi Ki, Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi
Bahu Thi, etc. When my father didn’t say a word of opposition, what could
I, a mere child in the house, do about it. I watched it with them.
The point is that
having watched these serials for their entirety, I have seen how the obedient
young brides turn into ferocious wild cats pouncing on their evil
mothers-in-law and finally settle as denture-using old mothers-in-law themselves!
There is a very
uncanny resemblance between these ‘bahus’
of the television daily soaps and students of engineering. And I will tell you
how!
|
Daughter-in-law
|
Engineering student
|
|
The
daughter-in-law-in-her-20s
|
F.E. (First year
Engineering)
|
|
The daughter-in-law-in-her-30s
|
S.E. (Second Year
Engineering)
|
|
The
daughter-in-law-in-her-40s
|
T.E. (Third Year
Engineering)
|
|
The
daughter-in-law-in-her-50s
|
B.E. (Bachelor of
Engineering)
|
1)
The daughter-in-law in
her 20s:
Prior to marriage, she is very bubbly who feels “she will win over even the
most evil mother-in-law on earth with her love and charm”. Her friends often
write testimonials for her that describe her as “the bubbliest girl... always
smiling... very bold…so charming.” On the day of her marriage, her mother
dutifully warns her that she is not a young bubbly girl anymore and now it’s
time for her to be more obedient as a daughter-in-law. Such warnings,
obviously, do scare the crap out of the girl. She turns very cynical and starts
wondering about the treatment that will be meted out to her in her sasural. The day she is about to leave
her home officially, she cries her heart out as she knows that the next phase
of her life is not going to be as hunky-dory as it used to be at her parents’
home. She starts taking precautionary measures to make sure that her
mother-in-law and sister-in-law like her. From my observation of these serials,
sisters-in-law are more evil than the mothers-in-law. Half of their dialogues
of hatred for the new bahu are not
mouthed at all. They just come out as facial expressions with a voice in the
background conveying her evil plans.
The poor
daughter-in-law in her 20s is made to wake up at 5.30 am, clean the house, make
breakfast for her husband and the rest of the family. She has to make sure that
the amount of salt she uses in the breakfast and the amount of sugar in the tea
is appropriate because her mother-in-law might have high blood pressure and
father-in-law might be diabetic! Being the daughter-in-law is like walking on a
tight rope! She meekly gives in to every stratagem used to belittle her. All
this can drive her to madness with ease, as it does the ones watching her
predicament from the coziness of their couches. But somehow the gods (read
script writers) show mercy on her and give her some sort of strength.
The first year engineering student: Like the
daughter-in-law described above, a first year engineering student also, prior
to the results of XII grade and the common entrance exam being announced, is
all happy and excited about the kind of life he is living. He is on Facebook
and Twitter throughout the day and posts very bold status updates – such as “If
you wanna live with me, you gonna live the life on mah terms,” or “I was not
born on this planet to please you,” or “Please bitch. Go to hell,” etc. As soon
as the results are announced, the student realizes where he really stands in
the rat race of life, to be yet another engineer in India. He chooses a college
of his caliber and then starts wondering how his life would be after joining an
engineering college. He must have heard his elder brother get ATKTs in
Mechanics and Math, or his friend’s elder sister not being able to clear some
exam even after 4 attempts. The rumour of how infamous his would-be engineering
college is scares the shit out of him. He must have also heard of cases when
the students left their engineering course because they could not handle the
ragging or they couldn’t understand even the most basic principles of
engineering. As the date of joining the college nears, he starts feeling the
increased pulse rate. He feels all the more nervous if none of his childhood or
school buddies are with him to share his predicament during the four years of
engineering.
On the first day of
college, the F.E. student reaches the college gate twenty minutes prior to the
scheduled time. He asks the security guard where he can find his classroom. The
security guard tries to tell him how he can find his classroom in a
labyrinthine college; but is almost always sure that he’ll have to ask someone
at the end of it. The security guard cracks some joke with his fellow
colleagues looking at the innocent F.E. student with pity. The student does as
said and then wonders whom to ask. Just then, “vultures” appear from nowhere. A
vulture is a senior looking out for innocent juniors for ragging. The F.E.
student obliges to what that vulture has to order and is guided to his class
where he sees the faces that he is going to spend the next four years with. He
then finds a seat from where he can see most students, preferably the last
bench. He gauges the batch mates and his brain works overtime trying to analyse
who is worthy of being friends with.
He attends all the
lectures regularly. He even makes seven different notebooks for seven different
subjects. He stands up and greets the professor twice in every lecture – once
when the professor enters the class and then when he leaves. He takes down
notes in a proper manner hoping that whatever the professor is teaching will be
asked in the exam. He follows the rules of the game very diligently. When the
first semester exams are round the corner, he reads “Fanatics” series and the
crash course notes sincerely. In short, he does everything to the T. But as
soon as the results of the first semester are out, he realizes that the kind of
preparation and brain that is expected of engineers is not what he is capable
of! He starts questioning his potential. He gets 2 ATKTs and curses his
decision of having taken up engineering! His frustration increases with every
passing day and he becomes all the more careless. He opines that clearing or
not clearing engineering exams is an act of God, just like earthquakes,
famines, floods, etc. At drinking sessions with fellows, he cannot crib and cry
for anything for days except his decision of having taken up engineering as his
career and how unworthy of it he is. Just as he decides to give up on
engineering, his friends and the seniors who ragged him pour some sense into
his feeble mind and make him realize that ATKTs are just a way to make him
stronger in life. Bouncing back from ATKTs will make him stronger and this is
one of the added bonus lessons in an engineer’s life. The theory that you learn
is just one of the take-aways from these slogging four years; it’s the other
lessons that it teaches you that count for more.
2)
The daughter-in-law in
her 30s:
Now she is a mother of two kids – a daughter and a son. She has now habituated
herself with waking up at 5.30 am, making tiffins for her kids and husband. Now
she knows that her father-in-law takes 865 crystals of sugar in his tea and her
mother-in-law likes to have 2744 crystals of salt in the food reparations, 50
grams tomato and onions with two eggs for breakfast! She then goes to the
market to run some errands – paying the electricity/ water/ telephone bills,
buying vegetables for lunch (which she now dutifully asks her mother-in-law and
buys as per her choice and mood), picking up certain other essentials for her
kids and husband. She has learnt to manage everything in a way that she can
watch her favourite television serial (of course a repeat telecast) in the
afternoon before returning to the kitchen after a siesta. Then it’s time to
help kids in their homework, making a cup of strong tea when her husband arrives
from work, and so on and so forth. In short, she gets so accustomed to the
whole routine that she can do all that like a robot! But, she does it all with
warmth and pleasure in order to ensure her family’s happiness. But somewhere
deep down, she does miss out on a few things in life.
The second year engineering student: By now, he has
learnt the tricks of the trade; he knows which lectures to bunk, which ones to
attend, which ones to bunk/attend how many times, etc. He knows how to handle
vivas and professors; knows what to write in the exams to get the adequate
marks; knows how to write assignments for submissions; knows that the
professors don’t check the submissions at all and hence he doesn’t care whether
there is or isn’t any relation between the first and the third line! He knows
that girls from his batch would either prefer to get impressed by seniors, or
are the good-daughters-type and hence will never say yes to him! In short, he
has gotten used to the whole system. He feels totally relaxed with everything
going around in life. But there surely are a few things that he misses out on.
3)
The daughter-in-law in
her 40s:
Her kids are now grown up, in high school to be more precise. She is worried
about the safety of her daughter and checks her son’s bag to see if he does
drugs or smokes. She wants her kids to focus on studies and wants them to get
into good colleges for graduation. She wakes up at 4.30 am now and makes tea
for her kids so that she doesn’t fall short of being the perfect mother. Whenever
she goes out with her friends for some shopping, she makes sure that she
doesn’t waste money on clothes she is not going to wear. Saving money for her
family’s future is more important than an impulsive wish to wear that dress.
The third year engineering student: He starts thinking
about his future. He has heard that companies come for college placements and
allow only those students who score more than 65%. He becomes serious about his
future. He doesn’t miss out even a single chance to participate in
intercollegiate competitions so that those participations and victories help
him differentiate from others in campus placements. Discussing current affairs,
reading Competiton Success Review and
India Today, debating the policies of
this country, etc., become an everyday affair in his life. The time in canteen
is not wasted on Richa, Rita and Shivani anymore, because he knows that these
girls care for a secure future more than a guy and will come to him if he can
assure them of one. No more bike trips, treks, Ladakh hikes, etc., and even
Facebook becomes clouded in his memory.
Securing a proper
future and getting a good job is all that occupies the terrain of his brain. He
wants to buy a silk saree for his mother, wishes to marry off his little sister
into a good family, he realizes how his father has never worn an Allen Solly
shirt but secretly wishes to, in all, he wishes to make his family happy. All
that will be achieved if, and only if, he manages a good score and a decent
job.
4)
The daughter-in-law in
her 50s:
Her kids have now grown up. Being responsible adults, they have already found
their life partners in their college and professional life. Her daughter is now
settled in the US and the son works in the UK. She still has her husband by her
side who loves her as much as he did on the first day of marriage. Her old
in-laws have departed for heavenly abode. The lone couple goes to a nearby park
for daily walks and joins the laughter groups. They come home, read newspapers,
watch an old movie, go for walk in the evening and sleep by 10 pm. Their kids
call them every week. They delight in foreign trips twice every year, once to
see their daughter and once their son and to take care of their kids’ kids! The
bahu in her 50s doesn’t let the
happiness and positivity diminish from their lives. She calls up her friends
once in a while and they meet up and discuss the golden days of their life.
With no responsibility to take care of, she indulges on the hobbies that she
had always wanted to do in her life. She reads books till her eyes start
paining, and listens to songs till her husband finds her fall asleep in the
backdrop of the magical voice of Kishore Kumar and Lata Mangeshkar.
The fourth year engineering student: Now a responsible
son, brother and student that he is, he has secured a good job through campus
placements. He is relieved, knows that in a few months he will be earning
enough to fulfill all his dreams of making his family happy, riding a good
motorbike, going on foreign tours, clicking photos at the exotic locations of
Switzerland, Paris, LA, New York, etc.
He indulges in books
that he had wanted to read for so many months and eats to his heart’s content
knowing that he will soon be far far away from Brijwasi Chacha’s Samosas or
Rahim Chacha’s Jalebi! He goes for long walks with his friends and promises to
be in touch. He finally tells his beloved girl his feelings and assures her
that he will keep her happy till his very last breath. They go out for movies,
don’t care for the last lectures, hold hands, have fun knowing that those
magical moments won’t come again.
All in all, a B.E.
student knows that he has reached the high point of his academic life and that
from the next few weeks onwards, his life will never be the same. He will miss
the PJ sessions in the canteen, Shinde’s lectures, the number of times Gupta
teacher uttered “shh…”, Manohar uncle’s cutlet in the canteen, cricket during
the break, making ‘train chains’ during college festivals, shouting “Shinde chya Aicha Gho” during Industrial
visits, trying to learn guitar umpteen number of times… and lots more. The list
is endless.
------------------------------------------
Just as Aditya
finished the last sentence, I felt a pang of nostalgia myself and began crying.
Vidya saw me teary-eyed
and came forward to hug me. Man, that seemed like a cherry on the cake. She
even called me Shonu as she hugged and pampered me. I wondered how I was not
just “Dipu” now, but “Shonu”! Every boy’s dream! Suddenly Aditya noticed what
was happening and stopped crying to look at Veena. I bet he was wondering if
she was also going to show her affection for him. As she was about to get up to
console Aditya, a sticky fluid started oozing out from Aditya’s nose. I don’t
blame Veena to have retreated immediately.
Veena clutched her
seat tightly and pretended to have not noticed the fiasco at all. But still,
yuck, eew!
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