Saturday, January 14, 2017

Chapter 9: Ragging




With that ended our game of “Truth and Dare”. Since we had worked on a few chapters as well, we wanted to treat ourselves to a lavish dinner. We all went to a nearby hotel and ordered Chicken 65, Pomfret Fry, 2 Hara bhara kabab, Roti and Daal Khichdi. The waiter told us that it would take him at least half an hour to get the food. When I was on earth, I was always curious to know about the selection of fairies in heaven. So to while away those thirty odd minutes, I thought of clearing my doubts with Vidya.

“Hey Vidya! Can you please throw some light on how do girls become fairies in heaven? Is there any entrance test or are you given heaven’s citizenship just because you are beautiful?” I asked with a look of genuine curiosity which ensured Vidya that I wasn’t taking her case and really wanted to know.

“Becoming a fairy in heaven is a very difficult task, Dipu. The selection process is like your Indian Idol contest, though a little more strict. Every fairy has to meet certain criteria to be given a chance to go to heaven. We have to justify our potential by showing what we are good at – be it at hospitality, cooking, dancing, public speaking, etc. Our quota of good deeds recorded with Chitragupta should be more than 75% to begin with. As I explained in the previous chapter, only the beautiful ones amongst us become the face of heaven and get a chance to interact with people coming to heaven. When we get selected, we are assigned seniors who guide us and take care of us for at least a year till we become accustomed to all the processes in heaven. As a fresher, I learnt everything under Sampada didi; I am so thankful she was my mentor for public interaction. I am sure you have observed how well I have been trained,” she trailed off with a wink.

Aditya had also been listening to her with great intent. He had smartly held Veena’s hand under the table so that she does not feel left out or insecure about his attention on another fairy. “So, don’t you girls get ragged?” asked Aditya.

“What the hell does that mean?” inquired Veena in a shellshocked voice.

Now that was lack of interesting knowledge. How could these pretty women not know of such an interesting piece of activity on earth? I decided to enlighten them and said, “Ragging is a form of having fun with juniors. You make friends with juniors by asking them to do a few funny things for you. For example, asking a junior to measure the exact number of footsteps of the perimeter of the college and then asking his friend to verify it. Or asking a junior to take off his shirt and make them dance in the middle of the college or ask them to propose a senior or slap a fellow batch mate, etc. In short, you have fun with juniors and that’s called ragging!”

While I was explaining with great interest to the two lovely women, a wicked smile could be seen on Aditya’s face and Chitragupta was staring at me from the corner of his eye. He suddenly exploded, “Will you shut the fuck up? Ragging isn’t funny when the bloody seniors don’t know their limits. Do you think that juniors enjoy being stripped down to the underwears in the middle of the college? Do you think slapping a fellow classmate is funny? I have seen so many juniors from engineering college commit suicide and reach the doors of heaven prematurely. None of them, mind well, none of them has ever said that they found ragging funny. It was out of the humiliation they faced at the hands of their seniors that made them commit suicide. Do you guys ever think of the parents of such poor kids who are ragged? Can you even think what they go through when they see their children hanging from their ceiling fans in their rooms just because some fucking bastard who happened to be a senior in college wanted to have fun? I very strongly condemn the act of ragging. I don’t find ragging funny at all. Do you guys understand that?”

Chitragupta couldn’t control his anger and left the table. I went out, consoled him and promised him that we won’t write anything more on this chapter. I brought him back to the dining table. We all had a quite dinner. No one said a thing.

We all went back to our room. From the look on everyone’s faces, especially Chitragupta’s, I could gauge that nobody was in a mood to discuss anything on the thesis.

It was best to let some time pass before we landed up with the next chapter.

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