Saturday, January 14, 2017

Chapter 18: Engineering Students’ Dictionary!




Vidya had finally understood that it was very essential to go to the canteen in college or else life would be boring. We all went out for snacks and settled back to take rest.

Veena was lying on her stomach with Aditya’s eyes glued on her face; she was solving a crossword puzzle. She wanted a fourteen-letter synonym for “confuse”. I offered her the word “discombobulate”. Yes, I was good at words because of GRE. My knowledge and smartness was making Aditya all the more jealous and insecure. When Veena thanked me for the word and smiled ever so sweetly, Aditya almost burnt up. He wanted to prove himself worthy of Veena’s admiration and asked me if I was good at the lingo used in college.

That caught Veena’s fancy and realising that Aditya was craving for her attention. She touched Aditya’s hand lovingly and requested him, “Please throw some light on the lingo used in engineering colleges.” Aditya couldn’t afford to miss this opportunity.

“Let me make this clear. I don’t and haven’t used this kind of language in college, ever. Even though I had 16 ATKTs in engineering, I was a clean boy,” Aditya tried to add a disclaimer.
“What the fuck does one mean by a clean boy?” asked Veena laughing.
“Never mind,” sighed Aditya and started jotting down a list of the words that he knew were very common for engineering students. Most of those words might be used by students from other streams, too!

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1)     Jugaad
Type of word: Noun
Meaning: a) A kind of a setting to get some work done. b) Girlfriend.
Usage: 1) Many electrical engineers make jugaad with the lab assistant to help them get through the practical exams.
2) You see that beautiful girl over there, jugaad hai mera!

2)    Tipu Sultan
Type of word: Noun. This word is derived from the word “teepna” which means ‘to copy’.
Meaning: A person who copies assignments or answers in exams from others.
Usage: That ass Ajay never writes any assignments on his own. Every time that bugger needs someone’s assignment to copy from. Tipu Sultan saala!

3)    PMC – Piya Milan Chowk
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A place little away from college where couples meet to avoid the crowd in college and have a good time.
Usage: Ajay and Seema have come to college but didn’t attend the last lecture. Hmm… they must be busy at the PMC!

4)    Farre
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: Paper chits.
Usage: If you don’t study well enough, you will have to rely on Farre!

5)    Kaamchor
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A student who shirks hard work.
Usage: I wonder how India will turn into a developed country if we have kaamchor engineers like Ajay!

6)    Bhokaal Machana
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To do something huge!
Usage: Surprisingly that bugger Ajay scored 98/100 in Mathematics. Bhokaal Macha diya saale ne!

7)    Maggu
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A student who learns everything by rote; mugs up almost everything.
Usage: Ajay has learnt by rote every problem from that book. Just change one variable and he will fall flat on his face! Maggu sala!

8)    Chaapna
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To copy.
Usage: Hey dude, give me your assignment. Chaapna hai mereko!

9)    Mr. Xerox
Type of word: Noun/Adjective
Meaning: A student who is well-known in college for the number of Xerox copies he has of notes, question papers, assignments, etc.
Usage: Sanjay xeroxes everything he lays his hands on! I am sure he will Xerox his own death certificate, too! Hahaha… Saala Mr. Xerox!

10)Chamkaa
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To understand something later than others.
Usage: After everyone had stopped laughing at the joke, Ajay suddenly shouted, “…oh you mean to say that elephant was made up of plastic?...ha ha ha… good joke!” As usual late chamkaa usko!

11) Pondy
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: Porn.
Usage: Check with Ajay; he has around 80 GB of pondy.

12)Maa Behen Karna
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To get fucked up or be in a botched-up situation!
Usage: We all were going to do a mass bunk and then Ajay decided to be a good boy and attended the lecture. Maa behen kar di professor ne!

13)Frustapa
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: Frustration.
Usage: The fact that I am not able to understand even the basics of electrical engineering is increasing my frustapa day by day!

14) Max
Type of word: Adjective.
Meaning: Maximum. It is used in conjunction with other words to increase their significance.
Usage: That Ravi Kapoor’s movie was frustapa-max yaaar! The director’s head is full of fucking farts I guess!

15)Shaanta Kaanta
Type of word: Adjective.
Meaning: A non-good-looking girl.
Usage: Hey man, I heard that a new girl joined our class yesterday. What type is she – maal or Shaanta Kaanta?

16)Raamu Shyaamu
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: An ordinary kind of boy.
Usage: Hey Rita, did you hear that Vanita said “yes” to Ajay? He is such a Raamu Shyaamu type of boy!

17)Taapna
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: An inappropriate way to look at girls and appreciate their beauty.
Usage: Taap mat! She is your bhabhi!

18)Night marna:
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To stay awake the whole night to complete a task.
Usage: Five assignments, three drawing sheets and one journal to complete. B##%#@d, night maarna hi padega!

19)Bakchodi karna
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To say something useless or crappy.
Usage: Bakchodi mat kar saale! Shinde sir has already fucked my brain in the Viva!

20)                        Tapri
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A place where you go to have a smoke and/or cutting tea.
Usage: Come to that Tapri. We will discuss your love problem.

21)Sutta
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A cigarette or smoke.
Usage: The moment I get up in the morning I need a sutta, to build up adequate pressure.

22)                        Bhenchod Sutta
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: It’s a very famous song. It’s every smoker’s anthem!
Usage: Ajay is such a baby! Why is he even alive if he hasn’t heard “Bhenchod Sutta” song?

23)                        Lagnaa
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To be in a problematic situation.
Usage: I signed proxy for Ajay. But Shinde sir came to know it was me. Lag gaye mere!

24)                        Chutyapaa
Type of word: Adverb.
Meaning: Foolishness.
Usage: I totally blanked out when I saw the question paper. Everything looked so out of syllabus! Kya chutyapaa hai be!

25)                        Maal
Type of word: 1) Adjective. 2) Noun
Meaning: 1) A gross way to admire a girl. 2) Girlfriend
Usage: 1) Look at Seema. She is looking like a hot maal today!
2) I will gouge your eyes if you look at Seema lecherously; she is my maal.


26)                        Katta
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A common place where you hang out with friends; an adda.
Usage: Let’s meet at the katta after Shinde’s lecture is over. We will plan out how to defeat the basketball team from Xavier’s college.

27)                        Kopche mein lena
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To corner someone.
Usage: I caught Ajay kissing Reema in the afternoon near the canteen. Saale ko kopche mein lena padega!

28)                        Proxy
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: Attendance for someone who is not present in the lecture.
Usage: Hey man, I am going for “Ek Tha Tiger” with Vaishali. Will you put my proxy in Shinde’s lecture?

29)                        Chhodu
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A student who lies a lot and boasts of knowing Bill Gates personally.
Usage: Ajay claims that Seema is his ninth! Chhodu sala! Are we fucking idiots to believe his words?

30)                        Fekuchand
Pls refer #29 Chhodu.

31)Chhava
Type of word: 1) Adjective 2) Noun.
Meaning: 1) A handsome guy. 2) Boyfriend
Usage: 1) Hey Richa, did you check out Siddharth today? He is looking like an awesome Chaava today!
2) Oooh lala…! I wish he was my Chhava!

32)                        Chhavi
Type of word: 1) Adjective 2) Noun.
Meaning: 1) A hot girl. 2) Girlfriend
Usage: 1) A new girl has joined the Comp Science department. Kya Chaavi item hai God!!!
2) Don’t ogle at her. Bhabhi hai teri. Aur meri Chaavi!

33)                        Kaand
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A serious matter.
Usage: Now the whole college has come to know about Ajay and Seema’s Kaand!

34)                        Mass Bunk
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: A decision taken by the whole class to bunk the lecture.
Usage: We decided to mass bunk Shinde’s last lecture of this semester. He is an ass and he deserves it!

35)                        Khatmal
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: Bed bugs.
Usage: One of the easiest weight reduction techniques at hostel – sleeping on khatmal-infested cots!

36)                        Mess
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A place in the hostel where food is served.
Usage: Anyone who can eat food for four years at a hostel Mess can survive even in the remotest forests of Brazil and harshest of places in Antartica!

37)                        Ghantaa
Type of word: Adverb.
Meaning: A word used to accentuate whatever you want to convey.
Usage: I am not going to attend Shinde’s lecture! Ghanta B@##%$#d!

38)                        Faadu
Type of word: Adverb.
Meaning: A word used to increase the depth of any word or situation.
Usage: What a faadu paper it was! I have written every answer using my own imagination!

39)                        Maass
Type of word: Adverb.
Meaning: A word used to increase the value of any other word.
Usage: Rajnikanth’s new movie is Maass awesome!

40)                        Kalti
Type of word: Verb.
Meaning: To give a miss to anything already planned.
Usage: Seema had promised to come with me for a movie but didn’t turn up and gave me a kalti when time came!

41)Setting
Please refer #32 Chhavi.

42)                        Load
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: Tension.
Usage: Don’t take load; you won’t get a KT!

43)                        Grace
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: Extra marks that the professor gives you as alms when you don’t even reach the bare minimum of 40 out of 100!
Usage: By god’s grace I got grace marks and hence cleared BEE 1.

44)                        Reval
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A short form of re-evaluation of paper.
Usage: I was sure that I would get at least 85/100. I just scored 73. I am giving that paper for reval!

45)                        Fataang
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: beautiful/ handsome.
Usage: Dude, check that girl on the right! She is so fataang!

46)                        Attu Piece
Please refer # 15 – Shaanta Kaanta

47)                        Scene party
Type of word: Noun.
Meaning: A person who shows off!
Usage: Mohana is a pure scene party!

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