Chapter 76
Life
is going on pretty well these days. My mom was asking me whether they should
continue looking for a guy for me. Since I don't know what Rahul feels about
me, I told my parents to continue the search. If things between me and Rahul go
fine then at least I can tell them that I tried being a good daughter who met
dozens of boys but didn't like anyone. I would not be left feeling guilty.
The
romcom skit at the old age home went really well. The trustee and everyone at
the old age home loved the play very much and Rahul called me on stage and gave
me equal credit for the success of the play. It was really nice of him to say
that. I have kind of become a darling of all the grannies and grandpas there. I
am feeling like Kajol from the movie "Udhar Ki Zindagi" who sings
that song "Dadaji ki chhadi hoon main Aage pichhe khadi hoon
main”.
Hahaha. In short life is going good. Except one small hiccup.
That
Saahil has woken up from his slumber and is again pestering me with ‘I love you
Sneha’ and ‘I can do all this for you Sneha’ and that bullshit. Nahi chahiye na
bhai mere! The more he is trying the more I abhor him. How can I respect a guy
who can't respect himself? I don't think he knows what I am doing these days.
Maybe he will find some fault with the billing module and then ping me to
rectify it. I think I should start writing a book on this jerk.
And one good news I forgot to share with you Georgie!
Vandu is
expecting!
Yes. She is now pregnant. Isn't it too early? Maybe Jiju believes in au natural
and is really "fast"! Hahaha. Good for them. And good for me as I
will be the most caring and sweetest maavshi ever!
Rahul’s Diary
24th March 2012
I am bloody
bloody bloody fucked up! Totally! A few days back I had challenged a guy who
commented on our Youtube video that he could do anything he wanted and in the
heat of the moment I fucking gave him my residential address too and yesterday
some 10 people went to my home in Delhi and threatened my family members!
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Why would anyone do this? Was that person a maniac to take my challenge
so seriously? Idiot. Asshole. Luckily our neighbour is an ASI in Police.
Chandan uncle came out on time and those hooligans ran away. The security
camera in our building has caught the images of those people. My father has
lodged a complaint against them.
My mom called
me to ask if I was safe and whether I had anything to do with that incident. I
assured her that I was safe and that I would never do anything that would
endanger the life of my family. I called up Vrajesh to check on him and it
turns out that some Hindu and Muslim fundamentalist groups attacked his home too.
Never did Vrajesh reveal his home address anywhere. Some highly specialised
intelligence wings these assholes have!
Vrajesh was
asking me if I wanted to join him in that episode on NVTV. I told him that I
won’t be able to go as I have some personal work. I am not sure whether he was
convinced. But before cutting the
line he just
said one thing: “Do it for the gay son of a priest. Do it for the lesbian
daughter of a maulana. Do it for the transgender kid of a pandit. They want someone
to look up to. Be their hero. Give them hope.”
What Vrajesh
says makes sense. But endangering the lives of my own family members for people
I don’t know at all doesn’t make sense. Let me think for a while and then see
whether to join him at the studio or not.
By the way, the
skit went really well. Everyone was laughing their guts out. The oldies, the
staff, the gardeners, the cleaning crew – everyone loved the skit. Needless to
say, Kavitha Amma was the talk of the old age home again! For the nth time! She
has a very unique persona altogether. Difficult to find that in a person her
age. In her award acceptance speech, she thanked the handsome doubled-dimpled
cute boy, i.e. yours truly, for bringing out the performer in her. She called
me on stage to share the award. It was a nice feeling. Nice is an
understatement. Then Sanjay Bhau and the trustee also appreciated my efforts in
making this old age home a better place to live.
And then I
called Sneha on stage and credited the success of the skit to her too. She was
happy too. The dear grannies and grandpas are already linking her with me as
girlfriend-boyfriend! Of course no one at the old age home knows that I am gay.
Of course I am not ashamed of being gay, but I don’t need to go on the rooftops
and keep shouting that I am gay, right? As promised, I took her to a nearby
Café Coffee Day and ordered a café latte and a sizzling brownie for her. She
was
puzzled when I
ordered her favourites. Kya karoon yaadasht itni awesome hai meri! J
I guess I will
take an off this weekend to participate in the NVTV programme. Hmmm… It’s now
or never.
Chapter 78
Diaz,
I don't know why but life isn't as exciting as I want it to be. I mean when I
look at my classmates who are living such happy rich lives, I feel very odd.
How lucky they must be to get good life partners. Nowadays all I think about is
the kind of girl I will get to spend the rest of my life with. And who on earth
will be ready to marry an impotent and ordinary looking guy like me? It scares
the shit out of me to even think of marrying a girl and then that bitch
divorcing me the next day and demanding a huge alimony!!! I don’t even know
what I will do in such a case. None of my relatives know about my problem and
if they came to know that I married so late and then got divorced for this
reason, they will make my parents' life a living hell!
This
is one of the reasons why I want to go for a love marriage. In love marriage
the girl would already know me well and then accept me as I am. But such girls
are rare!
Hitesh
is still in jail and Jenifer is making sure that his life is now fucked up. As
a friend all I can do is meet him once a fortnight and say that everything will
be ok!
And
keeping Rohit's suggestion in mind, I am continuing my struggle to impress
Sneha. I mailed her asking how she is doing these days and stuff. 4 days ago I
sent her a signed copy of my first book – that anthology – to her home address.
She should have gotten it 2 days back. I took her address from the form that
she had filled up when she
had
come to our branch for that billing module implementation. I hope Sneha reads
the story and appreciates the emotions that had gone in writing that story.
After reading the story she will know who Sumedha in that story is.
Shahrukh
Khan had said in the movie “Om Shanti Om” – “Kehte Hai Agar Kisi Cheez Ko
Shiddat Se Chaaho Toh Poori Kaynath Tumhein Usse Milane Ki Koshish Mein Lag
Jaati Hai.” Let’s see if that is true.
Guess who sent
me a signed copy of an anthology??? Mr Saahil Shah considers himself some big
shot author now! There is this anthology on love that he had participated in
and his story “The Park Bench” was selected and is now in that book along with
23 other authors! So what is the fucking big deal? It’s not as if he had
written the whole 250 page book himself! This is what he writes as a personal
message for me:
To,
The Dearest Sneha on this planet,
I hope you love
this book on love – the purest form of emotion in life. Please do read my story
and let me know your views on it.
Only yours forever,
Saahil
And and and
bhai sahab also chose to add a handwritten letter. I am glad it’s not written
in blood!
Dear Sneha,
How have you
been? I am Ok. I would have been better if you had been in touch. I was so used
to talking to you in office and sharing jokes with you on the phone and trying
to make you laugh all the time. I am not trying to boast here, but trust me
when I say that I had purchased a book on funny jokes so that I could make your
day by making you smile or laugh. By god! Every time I used to talk to you, I
used to think about it at night and wonder how much funnier I could have made
it for you. If a joke made you giggle, I would consider it a waste of my money
and your time, because I could have used that time and money on coming up with
a better joke that would have made you hold your stomach real tight until you
pleaded with me to stop sharing jokes! I am not exaggerating dear Sneha.
It hurt me real
bad when you sent me such a curt reply to the love letter that I had given you
at our last meeting. How could one be so cruel as to give a thorough
professional reply to such a nice lovely letter? I felt really bad. Till this
day, I feel embarrassed to have given you that letter because it didn’t get
what it deserved. I am a genuinely nice guy, Sneha. I am the one who can keep
you really happy. I am the one who will care for you till the last breath. I am
the one who can leave the whole world just to keep you happy. But but but, you
never cared for my feelings. I still haven’t given up. Last week we had this
school reunion and there I met my friend Rohit who impressed a German girl and
married her and has a very cute kid with her. He told me to not give up so easily
and hence this letter.
If you believe
in true love then I think we will meet somewhere once again and then our story
will continue. I am keeping my fingers crossed. By the way, I got your address
from the form that you had filled when you were onsite at our branch. Sorry if
it makes you angry. At least I didn’t use it to come to your home and ask your
dad for your hand in marriage! Hahaha…
Bye Sneha.
PS: In the last
few months I have met and am meeting a few girls for marriage, just to keep my
parents happy. I am waiting for you. Bye.
Now Georgie,
you only tell me who on earth would marry such a delusional guy? Idiot! I am so
tired of this guy that I don’t even want to reply to his letter. Ignoring him
would be the best thing to do now.
I have to go to
the old age home tomorrow. Rahul is out for some personal work and hence he
wants me to fill in for him on this weekend and complete a sports festival
blueprint that he has planned. He has only given me a high level idea of what
he has thought of. I will use my brain to give the idea a better shape. So
tomorrow no family day! L!
Rahul’s Diary
I reached the
NVTV office at around 11.00 AM on Saturday 26th March. I had taken an off from the old age home
to be there with Vrajesh to show solidarity. The show was to start at 12.00. So
we waited outside the office, near a pan-tapri to have a smoke. While we were
busy chatting and smoking, we saw this open jeep of 10 heavily built rustic men
staring at us. One guy had a revolver in his hand. One had a long knife in his
hand. One had a cycle chain. They were very intimidating. I have a physique
good enough to just tackle one or two guys. But facing 10 hooligans was not my
cup of tea and Vrajesh is this bespectacled 5 foot slim guy.
They brought
their jeep near the tapri. The guy in the driver’s seat said, “How’s everyone
at home homo sahab? Saale homo log, sudhar jaao… nahi to aisi maarenge ki soch
bhi nahi sakte”. The guy next to him added, “Nahi bhaiyaa. In logon ko to aur bhi
majaa ayega. Enjoy karenge saale Bho***wale! Bhak saale chakke!” And then they
sped away.
Vrajesh and I
were totally in a state of shock. All our heroism turned to zilch. Just then
the representative from the show called us in. The panel consisted of Vrajesh,
a local corporator aka politician, a priest, a maulana, a pandit and an old
lady. It took some 10 minutes for Vrajesh to come out of the shock because of
what had just happened. 10 guys
threatening to
kill us! That is not something one wants to encounter before going on a talk
show. But, once that asshole politician and those 3 holy heads started making anti-gay
comments, Vrajesh shed his fear and pounced upon them with logic and why on
earth should mythological events and scriptures decide how LGBTQ people live
their life. The holy men kept repeating one point: ‘This is how humans were
intended to live – a penis goes into a vagina. No other permutation or
combination is natural.’ The dumbheaded politician kept on ranting about how
the west has influenced our country and how our generation was bringing that
disease from the west.
In the midst of
the conversation, I was also told to share my views. I spoke about the
universal rights that every individual has. No one on earth has the right to decide
what I should do within the 4 walls of my room. It’s my life. You do what you
feel is right and I will do what I feel is right. You don’t interfere in my
life and I don’t interfere in yours. As long as I am not harming anyone why
should anyone try to control my life? At one point the politician pointed out
that he wasn’t aware of anyone being gay from his constituency. He further
added how he had never had heard about same sex attraction in his childhood
days. In the zest to prove his authority he even went ahead and challenged me
to go ahead and find out just one gay from his constituency. He said that if I
feel that I can do something for my community then I should contest the
forthcoming municipal elections and then try to make a difference for my people.
I froze when he said that in high volume. Then the conversation continued
between Vrajesh and the pandit. Meanwhile I gathered composure and asked
what stops the
law makers of this country to support the LGBT community. “Replace me and do
what you can”, said the arrogant corporator. Everyone was looking at me. I
tried to evade his challenge but when I looked at MY people in the audience, I
gathered courage and said yes to contesting the upcoming municipal elections in
June.
A few gay folks
from the crowd came forward and shared their story of coming out and how
oppressed they felt till that moment of coming out. They also shared how the
societal pressure made them live their life in a cocoon. A lesbian shared how
strongly her parents reacted when she told them that she liked girls. In
childhood she was told never to talk to boys and now when she discussed her
real self, her parents want her to bury her feelings for a girl and get married
to what society finds correct – a person from the opposite sex.
At one point
the priest suggested that same-sex marriages would bring havoc on this planet
as there wouldn’t be any procreation. Vrajesh explained how beautiful a gift
would the same-sex marriages give to the countless number of orphans living in
every corner of the world, how perfectly would the needy ones fit with the ones
who need them and this in a way would give the world a perfect balance rather
than misbalancing the world. The argument was valid but it didn’t go down well
with the panelists. Needless to say, they had this ‘you-are-finished’
expression on their face.
The show ended
with the conclusion that it is up to the individual to handle his/her life in
his/her own way, but within societal limits.
Seeing the
commotion during the show, the show representatives arranged a secured cab-drop
for us.
Anyway, enough
of that show, it’s time for a little bit of strumming guitar and then I will go
through the blueprint that Sneha has prepared for the sports fest at Aangan
Hamara. She is down with viral fever and hence didn’t come to the old age home
on Monday and today.
I missed meeting
the hilarious Saahil on Saturday! I will meet him this weekend and take him out
for dinner or a drink. Let’s see. I have started enjoying his company a lot more
than I thought I would.
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